Monday, August 14, 2006

The Transitive Axiom of Muslim Equivalence

When George W. Bush wants a war, nothing distracts him from the task of starting it.

Exhibit A: With the details of the recent terror plot in Britain still unclear, Bush still has time to try to connect these Pakistanis to Hezbollah.

CRAWFORD, United States (AFP) - US President George W. Bush said that the Lebanon-based militia Hezbollah and the suspects arrested in an alleged plot to blow up US-bound airplanes from Britain share the same "totalitarian ideology."

In his weekly radio address, Bush said the alleged plot to blow up US-bound planes mid-flight, which was thwarted by British police, served as a "stark reminder that terrorists are still plotting attacks to kill our people."


But he warned that "the terrorists attempt to bring down airplanes full of innocent men, women, and children. They kill civilians and American servicemen in Iraq and Afghanistan, and they deliberately hide behind civilians in Lebanon.

"They are seeking to spread their totalitarian ideology."

We are to believe that "the terrorists" are all the same people. Sunnis from Pakistan are exactly the same as Shiites from Lebanon. It's not as if there is any difference, like Sunnis regarding the Shia as hardly muslim at all or something. Look how they're all getting along in Iraq. They are clearly in cahoots, right? Since they are all exactly the same it makes perfect makes sense to attack Hezbollah in response to Pakistani actions. And the only way to really attack Hezbollah, of course, is to attack Iran.

Exhibit B:

Any doubt about the purpose of this statement fades away with a reading Bush's recent statements on the Israeli/Lebanese conflict, which I discussed here earlier.

"I believe this; I believe that -- that, as Condi said yesterday, the Middle East is littered with, you know, agreements that just didn't work. And now's the time to address the root cause of the problem, and the root cause of the problem is terrorist groups trying to stop the advance of democracies. Hizbollah attacked Israel. I believe Hizbollah -- I know Hizbollah is connected to Iran. And now's the time for the world to confront this danger."

In summary...

IF Pakistanis = Lebanese

AND Lebanese = Iranians

THEN Pakistanis = Iranians

SO Attack Iran!

This is Bush's Transitive Axiom of Muslim Equivalence. When applied in conjunction with Bush's Muslim Substitutive Axiom (whereby if two muslims are equal, it doesn't matter which one you attack) the logic behind our recent and future wars becomes clear.

UPDATE: Alternate title, "6-Degrees of Muslim Separation"